


Say Something

by xxenjoy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confessions of love, M/M, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 22:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxenjoy/pseuds/xxenjoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because it takes Cas leaving for Dean to admit how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this post on tumblr, and I did a thing. However, seeing as I reblog 800,000 things a day, I can't find the post again to link it. Also inspired by "Say Something" by A Great Big World and "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

"This has to be the end," he said with a pained look and a deep exhale, "I can't do this anymore Dean. You were right, I should lead a normal life, I'm not an angel anymore."

"No," Dean shook his head, disbelief etched into his features.

"I'm sorry. This isn't the way I wanted things to end," he looked down at his booted feet, licking his lips, "I can't wait for you anymore. Maybe if we had lived different lives… maybe it would have been better. Maybe worse." He shrugged with the slightest tilt of his head, eyes raising to Dean's, "You could have been the one," he chuckled humourlessly, "that's what they say, right? _The one_?"

He fell silent, looking back at his feet, breathing deeply. He couldn't look at Dean anymore, not after that. Neither of them spoke and the only sounds were the sound of their own breath and the occasional rumble of a passing car. Castiel wondered vaguely what they thought when they looked out the window. Two strange me standing at the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, refusing to look at each other but barely two feet apart. 

"Say something."

"What am I supposed to say, Cas?"

He shook his head. He didn't know. Something? Anything would be better than the heavy silence.

"Goodbye, Dean."

"Wait."

Before Cas could lift his head his wrist was caught, held tight beneath Dean's fingers. It had started to rain, he didn't know when but Dean's sleeve was dotted with little dark marks. It felt like one of those movies they had watched in the Bunker. Not the pistols and horses ones that Dean chose, but the sad, emotional ones that Dean complained about. Thinking about it now, he couldn't even remember who _had_ chosen those ones now, it didn't matter then because he was with Dean, and it didn't matter now because-

"Please, Cas."

When he looked up Dean had the tiniest of smiled forced onto his face, but his eyes were wet, pleading. Cas dropped his gaze, not wanting to face the pain he knew he had caused; it was cowardly, but it was the only way he could get through this.

"I have to go, Dean."

"Don't."

He gritted his teeth and when Cas eventually looked up, Dean wasn't looking at him. His gaze was focused up and away, lips pressed into a tight line. He drew a deep breath, dropping his chin to meet Cas' eyes.

"It scares me, more than a little that you can just fly in here and turn my whole fucking life upside down, but you did. Please-" he chewed his bottom lip, his eyes flicking away momentarily and back to Cas, "please don't go. I can't promise that it'll be perfect, but damn, I can try."

"Dean-"

"I'm not done, Cas. We have been through so much shit together, things Sam doesn't even know about," his eyelids dropped, "please don't give up on me, don't walk away from this. I'll make this work, I swear. I need you," his voice broke and he tugged on Cas' sleeve, pulling him forward with a slight jerk as Castiel lost his balance. 

"Dean-" all of his words vanished, pressed against Dean's chest, soaked from the rain, head pounding from holding back the wave of emotion that threatened to break him. 

Dean pulled his head back just far enough that they were face to face, "I don't want to hear anything else unless you're telling me you're not going anywhere," he leaned forward, pressing the softest kiss to Cas' lips. 

Castiel's breath caught and his mind felt wiped clean of any other thought of feeling other than Dean's lips against his. He was only vaguely aware when Dean pulled back and started speaking again. 

"I love you… That's what I meant to say, back in that crypt. I guess it just didn't seem right, not the right time..." his voice trailed off and he pressed his forehead to Cas'. "Maybe this isn't the right time either but, Hell, if I'm not gonna get another chance..." 

Cas surged forward before Dean could finish, shoving him up against the door of the car. Tears blurred his vision and stung his eyes but he couldn't do more than blink them away unsuccessfully.

"You fucking idiot," he pulled his hand free to steady himself against the car as he leaned in, claiming Dean's mouth in a clash of teeth and tangle of limbs. It was clumsy and desperate and they were soaked through to the skin, but Castiel couldn't bring himself to pull away, to even lose a second of Dean's touch. 

He pushed a hand through Dean's hair, and the man pulled back, Cas' hand still against the back of his head. His eyes scanned Castiel's face, questioning, unsure. 

"Please don't tell me you're gonna leave."

Cas' chest was heaving in time with Dean's, desperate for the breath that escaped him. He tried to smile, but the expression felt foreign and fell flat with a soft huff from Dean. He closed his eyes and pushed their foreheads together.

"Not without you."


End file.
